Gay Pride As Christian Suffering

A friend contacted me and (very graciously!) told me that he believed the celebratory tone of my coming out video to be inappropriate. I value his opinion highly and do not wish to bear false witness to the historic Christian tradition regarding sexuality. What follows is my response to his concerns.

The lesbian, gay, or bisexual Christian rightly views her or his orientation with a kind of double vision. While it is a thorn in the flesh and has been an occasion for sin, it has also been the occasion for the experience of grace and calling, and for many of us the occasion of belonging, community, and love within the LGBT community. 

Every year around the anniversary of my 2011 stroke, my wife and I throw a stroke-iversary party. It’s a party with a gallows humor feel, complete with brain cake, skull and zombie decorations, and stroke-themed cocktails and games. It’s also an opportunity for us to celebrate the great good that God has brought us through suffering and to invite our loved ones into that celebration. It’s one of my favorite events of the year.

It—and more specifically, the theology of suffering I developed that led to the party—has also shaped how I view my bisexual orientation. Stroke-iversary parties have never obscured for me the reality that strokes are Very Bad. Nor do I view my orientation wholly positively. The sins of my thought life which my orientation provides the occasion for have been and continue to be the occasion for mourning and repentance, and my disordered affections have been and continue to be the occasion for tears and groaning for the restoration of all things. 

However, God has also brought me great good as the result of my orientation. I have friends in the LGBT community that I would not otherwise have. I am proud to be part of a community that has consistently faced adversity with strength, humor, and compassion. I have empathy for the suffering of LGBT people and the suffering of other minority groups that I would not otherwise have. I have a burden for the salvation of LGBT people that I would not otherwise have. These are great goods that I would not have if I were not LGBT. 

For me, gay pride is a celebration of these great goods and an act of thanksgiving to God who gives them to us. It is not meant to erase realities of sin but to highlight the hope of the Resurrection.